Confessions of a Pregnant-Loving 'Aholic

Wow - 1003 hits to the site in two months....see Kris, people obviously love guys in tight jeans! And last I checked, the TJA consisted of no Catholic priests or schoolboys.

Well after 8 months, my wife's basketball is almost fully inflated.... and seriously, that tummy can't be aerodynamic for walking! As of today, we're only 3.5 weeks from the due date. Is it weird that some of my friends have recently sent texts asking "you do realize you're doing to be a dad?" Of course I do...I've already got a carseat in the boat, a tie-down in the bed of my truck, and his first .22 rifle under the crib. That kid is more prepared than Suber with his mom's credit card.

Big news on the P-doo (a.k.a. "Price"): Singing 80's light rock to the kiddo actually worked! As of last week, he's headed for daylight. In doctor terms, he "flipped." On top of that, Kristen's measuring a-okay for an on-time delivery...despite the fact that she's desperately searching for a pitocin-redbull to get that boy into the world early.

And with regards to my sexy pregnant vixen, she's hanging in there. Yes, she grunts each time she moves. Yes, she no longer believes in sleep. Yes, she demands that I give her a back rub anytime she finds me hiding. Yes, she's found a way to get the "honey-do" list even longer. And yes, I've learned that confrontation can easily result in pain for me. But what can I say - that chick rocks more than American Idol....oh no, did I just confess to watching that tonight? I must now apologize to my inner-self...

Other things I must confess this week....time to get it off my chest:

1. Friday nights are no longer about bourbon and karaoke...they are now used to install ceiling fans and curtains.

2. My version of masculinity is defined through "yeah, his swing is polka dots, but it's blue AND brown polka dots"

3. Where are my Sigma Nu beer mugs, and why are all these bottles in my kitchen?

4. Yeah, it's a 2006 Chevy Silverado...with a Z-71 suspension...with a 6.0L V8...with 285 All-Terrains tires...with a sweet new edition of the Chico carseat in the back...so?

5. Every cell phone conversation with my wife now starts "Are you in labor?" - "No" - "Okay, I'm working, I'll call you back"

As far as I can tell, I think I'm a grown-up now. Oh no - someone please hold me. Thank goodness for a bachelor party in May...time to rekindle Frank-the-Tank. Inappropriate to bring Price along?

Last, I recently realized I'm having an early-life crisis. Indeed, I've always been a compulsive idiot. However, I think I've outdone myself this time. Last month, I read INTO THIN AIR. So instead of flying, sky-diving, or making a baby, I thought it a great idea to climb Mount Everest.

But believe it or not, I'm not quite yet qualified for that venture. Therefore, I've decided to start with Kilimanjaro next spring. Yes, I know....20,000 feet and 6-days of climbing in Africa for a boy with his largest accomplishment being riding the elevator at Chimney Rock...but man, I got some sweet pictures up there!

So if you've got nothing going on early 2010, join me in the Serengeti for another addition to my drunken-founded bucket list. My son is doomed with me as dad, right?

Anyway, here's a few pictures of our nearly completed nursery...and yes honey, the stripes turned out great...despite the fact this statement rips up my man-card.

Until next time,

Doc Semi and his 12 (Ever-growing baby!) Denim Dwarfs